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Find all my stories at The Constructive Pessimist

About

The contents of my blog will tell you more about who I am than anything I can say here, but more of that later...

I have (or had) a career in IT software design and development (financial and retail systems,) but that's not who I am. I'm a husband (though not in my opinion, a particularly good one,) but that isn't who I am either. I'm a father (with a mixed record of successes and failures, like most fathers,) but even that doesn't define who I am.

Ok, so I'm a married man in my fifties (so far.) I was born during the first quarter of 1958, but experienced my formative years throughout the sixties and the seventies, so you could say that I'm a child of the sixties and a product of the seventies, though of course I'm also a product of the '90s and the '00s (I've omitted to mention the '80s mainly because I spent a large part of that decade in a regular state of drunkenness during much of my leisure time.)

I'm grey, balding and a little overweight,  somewhat overweight, overweight, and not very attractive to look at, though I'd like to think I can charm people more with my words than with my looks and that I'm able to make friends more with my personality than with my appearance.

I look a lot like this...
...or even as this.
...but appear online as this...












I have a wife and four grown up children: A daughter of twenty eight, a son of twenty seven, a daughter of twenty four and a daughter of twenty three. (Ages will of course change with time: these are as of November 2015; I don't however, expect the genders to alter.)


Mrs B, Anita
(The only picture she'd let me use!)


D24, D28, D23 and S27,
back when they were D15, D18, D13 and S17
(I don't have any recent group shots of them)

One of my daughters is estranged from the rest of the family, but those of you with kids of a certain age will be aware that however you bring them up, they change their feelings, opinions and attitudes as they get older, and their relationship with their parents and with other family members has as much to do with who they are as it has to do with who we are. So though I regret the situation with my youngest, and admit to still having sleepless nights worrying about her, I accept that she has her own life to lead and her own choices to make, and should she one day change her outlook on life, her attitude to her family and her opinion of me, then we're all still here waiting. (To be honest, I doubt she'll ever change her opinion of me but that has never been a precondition of her returning to the family.)

My other three seem to treat me with various attitudes from a spectrum that ranges across love, respect, begrudging tolerance,  indifference and dislike at various times depending on moods and circumstances, and I can just about cope with that.

Usually, to describe who I am in my own words, I'd say that I'm an enthusiastic storyteller by nature, a writer of fantasy and science fiction by aspiration and an author of fantasy epics by ambition. (Oh! Not to forget that I know that I'm also a lottery millionaire in waiting!)

As to what I do: I'm a freelance IT consultant by profession, though I'm currently an unemployed freelance IT consultant by circumstance. I'm not sure how long I have to be unemployed before I stop being an unemployed something, and start being simply unemployed, but I haven't quite given up hope yet.

I kind of wandered into IT as a career, back in 1976, when it was a very different world from the one it is today. At best I've been an enthusiastic practitioner of my craft; at worst, a reluctant prisoner of a career that's restrained me. It's safe to say that I've never really had a vocation for it in any way, shape or form. Basically it gave me occasional moments of satisfaction and it paid the bills; it's a shame that it doesn't at the moment.

(If by any chance, you're a possible provider of future employment in the field of IT, I'd appreciate it if you'd disregard everything you've just read in the paragraph above.)

Though 'who I am' has a bearing on my work and how I approach it, I don't think what I do for a living defines who I am. That's determined by what I think, what I feel and how I behave, and that certainly isn't always reflected in what I'm paid to think, what I'm expected to feel or how I'm told to behave.

You'll find out more about how I think and feel by reading the posts in my blog and from that you'll draw your own conclusions as to how I'm likely to behave and of  the kind of person I really am. Every word of whatever I write is a reflection of my thoughts, my feelings and therefore of my personality. I'm opening myself up to you by blogging here so go ahead and get to know me the best way you can.

Welcome

I blog because I think and because I write and because like everyone, I sometimes feel the need to share. When that happens I talk about what I've been thinking about or what I've written about with the people who'll listen.

At certain times though I want to share with a lot more people; I want to share with anyone who may be interested. At times like that I put what I've been thinking about or what I've been writing in this blog and in my other one at The Constructive Pessimist.

There are posts here of various types on various subjects and they're all meant to amuse and to entertain. I may sound off from time to time but I guarantee I'll never preach at you.

I want you to enjoy reading my blog but I also want you to play a part in it. I update it as and when I think of things but it's anything but regular. It's important to me to receive feedback from the people who have bothered to read what I've written. I'd like you to comment. Your remarks and opinions are valuable to me; that's one of the reasons I share in the first place. I value any comments you want to make whether they be complimentary or critical. I don't use 'comment moderation' so I won't ever censor your comments before they appear on my blog. The only comments I'll ever remove (apart from as a result of general housekeeping,) are indecent or abusive ones because I don't want to see that sort of thing and neither do other readers.

So browse through my blog. I hope you'll enjoy reading it, but when you get to the end of a post, PLEASE click on 'comments' and add something of your own.

Even if you don't want to leave a comment I'd appreciate a response from you which you can provide by clicking one of the 'YOUR OPINION' buttons at the end of each post.

If your comment requires a response from me I'll make sure I reply by leaving one following the comment; but if you'd like a personal response be sure to leave your email address, your Google+ id, your twitter '@' name or your Facebook id as part of your comment and I'll get a reply to you as soon as I can.

Navigation

To just view the text and comments for a particular post simply click on its title or on "Read more »", then all you'll see is that post and its comments.

You can still browse through other posts by clicking on 'OLDER POST' or 'NEWER POST at the end of each post.

To return to the main blog, just click 'HOME'.

Thoughts

"When you need food, worry about being hungry; when you need sleep, worry about being weary; when you need to buy things, worry about being broke. That leaves lots of other times when you can stop worrying, relax and enjoy life."

"We have to take risks in life. Yes, the light may blind you, but what use is sight if you ignore the light?"

"Obsession with one's enemies leaves less time to share with one's friends."

"Stand up for what you believe in, regardless of any opposition. Don't let majority opinion change your mind. It's just as easy for a thousand people to be wrong as it is for one."

"If you ever feel alone and unloved, take comfort in the certainty that there is always someone, somewhere thinking fondly of you."

"Even when the days are difficult to cope with, if you can think of someone you love before you go to sleep & then again as soon as you awake then at least what comes in between is sure to be good."

"Contemplate the unlikely, anticipate the unexpected, imagine the impossible and inspiration will surely come. When it does: write!"

"An unexpected summer's day in September is like finding an extra present at the bottom of your Christmas stocking when you thought you'd already unwrapped them all."

"Grab inspiration whenever it comes to you, in whatever guise. An idea is AN IDEA. A bad idea is just a good idea that still requires a little work."

"Most people can see what you are, given your words and actions; only a real friend can see who you are, despite them."

"The pain one feels at being alone is nothing compared to the loneliness one feels in a crowd of people, when the person who really counts isn't there."

"In life, there are bad days and there are good days, and the bad days often seem too much to cope with, but have faith that the best days in life are yet to happen."

"The things we dream of will be forever in our dreams; only the things we reach for will one day be in our grasp."

"The end may sometimes justify the means, but if the means is pure and well intentioned, then it will justify itself, and only a noble end can come of it."

"Courage kept to oneself is little more than pride. Courage needs to be expressed in defiance of our fears to give it true meaning."

"By all means chase the things you think are important to you, but don't chase too fast, lest the things that really matter can't keep up."

"Hindsight can only sour our memories, but foresight will enrich our future experiences."

"If you don't treat people with the respect they deserve, people may just start treating you with the respect that you deserve."

"Whenever happiness is available, grab it eagerly. Don't try to bargain; don't try to barter. Take whatever there is to be had. It may be a one-time only, limited offer!"

"Yesterday's failures were another's failures. Today you are someone else: Someone who having learned from past mistakes, will succeed."

"Whenever you feel that your potential is perhaps limited, consider the humble acorn."

"Saying you have feelings for someone, then refusing to commit to them is like throwing a drowning man a float that's made of ice: There's no lasting warmth in it whatsoever, and it's merely delaying the inevitable outcome."

"Remember that if you achieve just one thing, or even if you smile just once today, then the day has had a point to it."

"If you feel good today and keep it to yourself, it'll soon fade. Share it with someone you meet. You may even get some back tomorrow!"

"However content you are with the beauty of the forest, you have to come out from under the trees from time to time if you're ever to witness a rainbow."

"From time to time, you need to get away from it all, before it all gets away from you."


Bits...


Schadenfreude.
"A pleasure you derive from another person's misfortune."
Freundenschadenfreude.
"That feeling that brings a smile to your face when, after years apart, you meet up with an old friend who you remember always used to look fantastic, and you realise that some people have aged even worse than you have."

Gelotophobia.
"The fear that you're being laughed at."
Gelatophobia.
"The fear that Italians are laughing at your ice cream."




Déjà Vu.
"A feeling of having already experienced the present situation."
Déjà Plus.
"A feeling of having already experienced the present situation, coupled with the certainty that last time it was a damned sight better than this time."



If 'aesthetic' is defined as "concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty" and the prefix 'an-' denotes "without", then does 'anaesthetic' mean that you don't give a bugger what you look like because you're totally zonked out?

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