Those Explosive Coffee Moments...

In the modern office environment, with drinks vending machines appearing in our workplaces more these days, many people will take refreshment at their desk as and when required: the tea/coffee break seems to have become a thing of the past.

There was a time though when the break was a time for fellow workers to interact on a more personal, social level, whether between everyone in the office or just amongst a few, it was the time when experiences were shared and plans for more organised socialising were made. Often, people would share things that had happened to them, with the rest of the people present; this would often trigger interest or even sympathy from fellow workers, or more often than not, shared amusement....

Occasionally though, someone would come out with a revelation, so badly timed and badly placed that the rest of those present felt awkward or even shocked. Sometimes the timing would be so far off the mark, that the shock of hearing it would seriously disturb or surprise the listener; sometimes, so much so that if it unfortunately coincided with the imbibing of hot beverages, it would result in what all those who've experienced it will recognise as an 'explosive coffee moment' - When the effort of at least appearing to keep your composure becomes so difficult, that the effort of  holding onto that mouthful of hot coffee at the same time becomes impossible.

Many years ago, during my early twenties, I'd often share my coffee breaks with one of my female colleagues. We'd both started a couple of years earlier as fellow trainees and had become good friends, to the extent that Mrs B (then Miss W,) and I would have regular nights out with her and her soon-to-be husband.

During one coffee break, she told me how she had borrowed one of those self-help, sexual advice books from one of her female friends, and how she and her boyfriend had read it together. Though I was a little uncomfortable with the conversation, in a 'too much information' kind of way, I listened politely as we drank our coffee.

She then went into more detail, telling me that both her and her guy had been particularly attracted to the practice outlined in the book of licking whipped cream from each other's bodies, particularly from each other's genitals. 

I was getting particularly uncomfortable as I quietly listened to this, and tried to cover up my embarrassment by taking larger gulps, more frequently from my coffee cup.

Unfortunately this meant that I had a mouthful of hot coffee just as she came out with her revelation: "But we didn't have any whipped cream, so we used salmon paste!"

BANG! - An explosive coffee moment!