Much of the best radio comedy from the fifties and sixties is now lost, since nobody had the foresight to keep permanent recordings of many of the original broadcasts.
There are some exceptions to this: some of the original 'Goon Show' broadcasts still exist, though unfortunately many more of them are lost forever, except in the form of scripts; re-creations and 'cover' performances never seem to have the same appeal as the originals though...
Tony Hancock died back in 1968, so his talent is unfortunately lost to us forever, but at the height of his immense popularity, someone had the excellent idea of releasing the best of his radio broadcasts on records for the public to buy. Many of these records still exist and have now been made available online, by their owners, and often by the BBC themselves.
This is from one such record. The audio quality isn't too good, but you should be ok with your volume up high. Just in case, I've included a full transcript after the clip, so you can follow any parts you might miss.
The sketch also features the late Kenneth Williams, and you might recognise other voices, amongst them Bill Kerr, Hattie Jacques and Sid James. Every one of these were excellent comedy performers in their own right but sadly, only Bill Kerr is still with us. Enjoy a sample of the work of Hancock and Williams here:
The sketch also features the late Kenneth Williams, and you might recognise other voices, amongst them Bill Kerr, Hattie Jacques and Sid James. Every one of these were excellent comedy performers in their own right but sadly, only Bill Kerr is still with us. Enjoy a sample of the work of Hancock and Williams here:
Hancock: Wing commander Hancock reporting sir.
Kerr: Ah, come in Hancock. You know why I've sent for you?
Hancock: I can guess sir. P64?
Kerr: P64 it is. According to specifications it should top well over two thousand miles an hour.
Hancock: Jolly good show.
Kerr: But quite frankly, no-one knows exactly what will happen when you get up there. All we know is, that at that speed metal does peculiar things. Once you've gone through the heat barrier, metal can melt into jelly.
Hancock: What flavour sir?
Kerr: Same, same old Hancock. Does nothing frighten you?
Hancock: Nothing in the air, sir.
Kerr: Well now, here's a scale model of the aircraft. As you can see, the design is quite revolutionary.No wings. Vertical take off. You lie flat on your stomach in the cockpit, and you'll notice it's approximately half the size of anything else we have.
Hancock: Ah! I'm a bit worried about that sir.
Kerr: Ah, so you are human after all. What's worrying you eh?
Hancock: Will there be enough room for my moustache?
Kerr: Hmm, you're a cool customer: no different now as you were when you destroyed the German airforce in '43.
Hancock: A little older sir?
Kerr: Good luck Hancock. England is proud of you. It's in the hanger waiting for you. Everything depends on you.
Hancock: If.. if anything should go wrong sir... promise me, I...
Kerr: Ah, anything Hancock.
Hancock: Don't abandon the project sir. Keep 'em flying. Melt all me medals down and build another one. There are plenty of other good chaps waiting to have a crack. Goodbye sir.
Kerr: Goodbye Hancock. Sergeant James!
James: Sir.
Kerr: Show Wing Commander Hancock to his plane.
James: Sir.
James: Don't forget it's a vertical take off sir.
Hancock: I know. Don't bother to open the hanger door. I'll go out through the fanlight.
Hancock: H for Hancock calling control tower. Levelling out at eighteen hundred miles per hour. Everything going to plan. Fine plane, tell the designer chappie.
Jacques: Control tower, control tower to Hancock. We're worried about possible sabotage. The mechanic who was working on your aircraft is missing. Think you should come down. Land immediately. LAND IMMEDIATELY.
Hancock: Nonsense. She's going beautifully. I don't know a thing about any mechanic. Taking her up to two thousand, four hundred miles an hour.
Hancock: Hancock to control tower. Something strange is happening. There's a peculiar knocking sound on the windscreen. It seems to be coming from outside the plane. I'm slowing down to eighteen hundred miles an hour. Will slide cockpit open to see what's wrong.
Williams: Good evening. It ain't 'alf cold out 'ere. Can I come in?
Hancock: What's that?
Williams: I say it ain't 'alf cold out 'ere. Can I come in?
Hancock: There's no room. Get off!
Williams: Oh, don't be like that. Move over: I'll sit on your lap.
Hancock: Get your boot off me joystick. Do you mind? Who are you?
Williams: Me? I'm the mechanic. I was still working on the tail when you took off. Ooh honestly, it frightened the life out of me. I mean I wasn't expecting it. I was just sitting there, singing happily to meself, and then the next minute: Whoosh! I was up 'ere.
Hancock: Sit still. I can't control the plane with you jumping about.
Williams: Well, I'm only trying to get comfortable. All these knobs and levers 'ere, sticking in me. 'Ere, what's this one?
Hancock: DON'T TOUCH IT!
(BANG!)
Williams: Ooh! It's the ejector seat. Come back! Where are you?
Hancock: I'm out 'ere, sitting on the tail!
Williams: Ooh no, stop messin' about! No, come back in. It's no use sittin' out there sulkin'. I can't drive the thing.
Hancock: Well go into a dive, so I can slide down!
Williams: All right! I'll try this lever
(BANG!)
Williams: Hello! You might have told me there was another ejector seat.
Hancock: All right, well we're both out here. Now what do we do?
Williams: Ooh look. We're going up.
Hancock: Well what do you expect when we're both sitting on the tail?
Williams: Isn't life funny? In the paper this morning, the stars said it was my lucky day.
Hancock: If we keep going up at this rate, you'll be able to tell 'em they're wrong!
Williams: No well, come on. We've had a little skylark and a little giggle. Let's go down.
Hancock: How can we go down? Look, we're finished. The engine's falling off.
Williams: Oh that's all right. They've got plenty more down there.
Hancock: We want one up 'ere. We're going into a dive. We're out of control. We can't get back to the cabin. Give me a piece of string.
Williams: Ooh, I'm scared. Ooh!
Hancock: Don't panic man! Don't panic. This is the RAF. Where's that stiff upper lip?
Williams: It's above this loose flabby chin.
Hancock: Give me that string. I'll get you down safely.
Kerr: How did you manage it, sitting on the tail like that?
Hancock: Quite simple: I took a piece of string and lassoed the controls and steered it home. Lucky I was a cox at Oxford eh?
Kerr: Ah, brilliant work Hancock. You've won another medal. You'll go down in history as the most courageous and most decorated pilot in the RAF
(Fades)
Kerr: Ah, come in Hancock. You know why I've sent for you?
Hancock: I can guess sir. P64?
Kerr: P64 it is. According to specifications it should top well over two thousand miles an hour.
Hancock: Jolly good show.
Kerr: But quite frankly, no-one knows exactly what will happen when you get up there. All we know is, that at that speed metal does peculiar things. Once you've gone through the heat barrier, metal can melt into jelly.
Hancock: What flavour sir?
Kerr: Same, same old Hancock. Does nothing frighten you?
Hancock: Nothing in the air, sir.
Kerr: Well now, here's a scale model of the aircraft. As you can see, the design is quite revolutionary.No wings. Vertical take off. You lie flat on your stomach in the cockpit, and you'll notice it's approximately half the size of anything else we have.
Hancock: Ah! I'm a bit worried about that sir.
Kerr: Ah, so you are human after all. What's worrying you eh?
Hancock: Will there be enough room for my moustache?
Kerr: Hmm, you're a cool customer: no different now as you were when you destroyed the German airforce in '43.
Hancock: A little older sir?
Kerr: Good luck Hancock. England is proud of you. It's in the hanger waiting for you. Everything depends on you.
Hancock: If.. if anything should go wrong sir... promise me, I...
Kerr: Ah, anything Hancock.
Hancock: Don't abandon the project sir. Keep 'em flying. Melt all me medals down and build another one. There are plenty of other good chaps waiting to have a crack. Goodbye sir.
Kerr: Goodbye Hancock. Sergeant James!
James: Sir.
Kerr: Show Wing Commander Hancock to his plane.
James: Sir.
James: Don't forget it's a vertical take off sir.
Hancock: I know. Don't bother to open the hanger door. I'll go out through the fanlight.
Hancock: H for Hancock calling control tower. Levelling out at eighteen hundred miles per hour. Everything going to plan. Fine plane, tell the designer chappie.
Jacques: Control tower, control tower to Hancock. We're worried about possible sabotage. The mechanic who was working on your aircraft is missing. Think you should come down. Land immediately. LAND IMMEDIATELY.
Hancock: Nonsense. She's going beautifully. I don't know a thing about any mechanic. Taking her up to two thousand, four hundred miles an hour.
Hancock: Hancock to control tower. Something strange is happening. There's a peculiar knocking sound on the windscreen. It seems to be coming from outside the plane. I'm slowing down to eighteen hundred miles an hour. Will slide cockpit open to see what's wrong.
Williams: Good evening. It ain't 'alf cold out 'ere. Can I come in?
Hancock: What's that?
Williams: I say it ain't 'alf cold out 'ere. Can I come in?
Hancock: There's no room. Get off!
Williams: Oh, don't be like that. Move over: I'll sit on your lap.
Hancock: Get your boot off me joystick. Do you mind? Who are you?
Williams: Me? I'm the mechanic. I was still working on the tail when you took off. Ooh honestly, it frightened the life out of me. I mean I wasn't expecting it. I was just sitting there, singing happily to meself, and then the next minute: Whoosh! I was up 'ere.
Hancock: Sit still. I can't control the plane with you jumping about.
Williams: Well, I'm only trying to get comfortable. All these knobs and levers 'ere, sticking in me. 'Ere, what's this one?
Hancock: DON'T TOUCH IT!
(BANG!)
Williams: Ooh! It's the ejector seat. Come back! Where are you?
Hancock: I'm out 'ere, sitting on the tail!
Williams: Ooh no, stop messin' about! No, come back in. It's no use sittin' out there sulkin'. I can't drive the thing.
Hancock: Well go into a dive, so I can slide down!
Williams: All right! I'll try this lever
(BANG!)
Williams: Hello! You might have told me there was another ejector seat.
Hancock: All right, well we're both out here. Now what do we do?
Williams: Ooh look. We're going up.
Hancock: Well what do you expect when we're both sitting on the tail?
Williams: Isn't life funny? In the paper this morning, the stars said it was my lucky day.
Hancock: If we keep going up at this rate, you'll be able to tell 'em they're wrong!
Williams: No well, come on. We've had a little skylark and a little giggle. Let's go down.
Hancock: How can we go down? Look, we're finished. The engine's falling off.
Williams: Oh that's all right. They've got plenty more down there.
Hancock: We want one up 'ere. We're going into a dive. We're out of control. We can't get back to the cabin. Give me a piece of string.
Williams: Ooh, I'm scared. Ooh!
Hancock: Don't panic man! Don't panic. This is the RAF. Where's that stiff upper lip?
Williams: It's above this loose flabby chin.
Hancock: Give me that string. I'll get you down safely.
Kerr: How did you manage it, sitting on the tail like that?
Hancock: Quite simple: I took a piece of string and lassoed the controls and steered it home. Lucky I was a cox at Oxford eh?
Kerr: Ah, brilliant work Hancock. You've won another medal. You'll go down in history as the most courageous and most decorated pilot in the RAF
(Fades)
OOh, there's Hattie! Who'd have thought she turn out to be such a naughty girl! Those were the days - no Daily Mail or Grazia sticking their noses where they're not wanted!
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