I thought it was about time I took the opportunity to post this, the funniest dialogue from 'The Goon Show'. You'll either find it hilarious or you won't. I suppose that Eccles, Bluebottle and co are just like marmite: you'll either love them or you'll hate them. Personally, though I admit that at times, the humour could be a lttle weak and often appeared somewhat dated, pieces like the one following are timeless.
Modern day comedy owes a lot to The Goons in general, and to the genius that was Spike Milligan in particular. Here's the transcript. To get the full effect, listen to the original recording here.
Bluebottle (aka Peter Sellers): What time is it Eccles?
Eccles (aka Spike Milligan): Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.
Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?
Eccles: Well, um, if anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem.
Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man.
Eccles: What is it fellow?
Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.
Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.
Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?
Eccles: Well den, I don't show it to 'em.
Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?
Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper.
Bluebottle: Ohh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.
Bluebottle: 'Ere Eccles?
Bluebottle: Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'
Eccles: What? I've been sold a forgery.
Bluebottle: No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.
Eccles: Ohh dear!
Blubottle: You should get one a dem t'ings my Grandad's got.
Bluebottle: When he re-tired.
Bluebottle: It's one a dem t'ings what it is, wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettule, and pours a cuppa tea.
Eccles: Oh yeah! uh, um... what's it called, um?
Bluebottle: My Grandma!
Eccles: Oh, ah, wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?
Bluebottle: She's got it written down on a piece of paper!
Transcript from The Goons, The Mysterious Punch-Up-The-Conker, first broadcast 7th February 1957