The Stoor's Prophecy - Chapter One, Part One - Draft

Here's a draft version of about three quarters of the first chapter of The Stoor's Prophecy, my-work-in-progress humorous fantasy project. This part introduces three of the main characters: Rufus of Farcliffe, a man with a more distinguished past than his current circumstances would imply, Shirley son of Hogan, an elf from the northern forests who's having to cope with anti-fae prejudice, and Barwick of Balmar, who was born in The Three Kingdoms, but faces problems of xenophobia just because he's a dwarf. (don't worry, I think you'll find it a little funnier than it looks like here.)


Barwick picked the crumbs from his beard.

"That's the last of the bread," said the elf sitting opposite, "So I hope we're going to be there soon."

Barwick looked at the particularly large bread crumb between his fingers; he considered his options for a moment, then popped it into his mouth and began to chew. He did it casually, and even faked a cough as his hand went to his mouth. There was no need for him to do that really: bad manners were almost expected of him; that's the way everyone assumed a dwarf would behave, but Barwick had lived much of his life amongst mortal men, and had decided long ago that if there was to be any chance whatsoever of him ever being treated by them as their equal, then his own demeanor had to at least appear to be superior to theirs...

Welcome Home...

When they come home in aeroplanes and boats, how will they be met?

Welcomed by friendly family faces? Greeted by cheerful children dressed in Sunday best?

Or will there be grim generals in tailored uniforms and sombre faced politicians, there at last to do their duty?

Will the flags be carried aloft and waved before them on their way or will they be draped gently over the boxes they've come home in?

Should flowers to be cast before them in their victorious march or laid upon the ground in quiet remembrance?

Will cheers be heard as we place wreaths upon their heads to bless their brows or will other wreaths be placed upon their graves in silence?

Are rousing speeches to be made telling tales that celebrate brave deeds or will there instead be doleful eulogies recited in hushed tones?

We promised them glory. We offered the world. We said they'd be heroes but nobody mentioned that might mean dead heroes.

"Available At All Leading Stores!"

The face of retail in the UK has changed incredibly over the past couple of decades. With Sunday trading becoming more common, out of town shopping becoming the norm, and more and more stores opening 24 hours per day, the way we shop and the times we shop nowadays bears little resemblance to how we used to 20 or 30 years ago...

A Couple Of Anecdotes

Now that it's becoming increasingly likely that my career in IT is all but over, I thought I'd share a couple of anecdotes with you. I hope you're as amused by them as I was when the episodes occurred, and as I've been when I've retold them over the years...

A Little Taste Of Jinn

Currently, I'm experimenting with a new protagonist/antagonist race in urban fantasy (I think vampires are becoming a little stale now, and werewolves, zombies and witches have all been well used too.) I've chosen The Jinn, who are mentioned throughout legend, even in the Old Testament and the Q'oran. I've tried to bring things up-to-date a little while still retaining the traditional legends... 

The Stoors Prophecy - Conlan of Brunfield

I've used the ideas that came to me while out walking a couple of days ago, to write this episode that introduces one of the main characters from The Stoors Prophecy my humorous fantasy.

Conlan of Brunfield is a bounty hunter and wannabe hero. He travels the countryside doing his best to promote his image, but unfortunately he carries a lot of 'baggage'...

Campaign Debriefing

Memorandum

To: The Supreme Commander, Galactic Invasion Force
From: Senior Intelligence Officer, Observation Saucer Number 4, Earth Expeditionary Force.
Subject: Campaign Debriefing

Commander,

It is with great regret that I inform you of the failure of our attempts to invade the planet Earth. Our entire offensive force has been wiped out to a man. Of the observation saucers accompanying them, the first three were all shot from the sky; my saucer alone survived, enabling me to report back to you with this grim news...

FFS Parents: Wake Up!

You worry about your kids, don't you? It's only natural. 

But I don't like to interfere in my son's life too much. I asked him where he was going once, and he gave me such a look, I decided I'd respect his privacy in the future, so now I don't ask....

What's in a name?

A little piece to highlight the ridiculously counterintuitive pronunciations we have for some words and names in English. Hopefully it will amuse you too.

So there I was sitting in the reception area waiting for my interview to begin.

I was surprisingly relaxed: this wasn't the usual type of interview. For the first time in my life I'd actually been head hunted. I'd received a phone call from a selective recruitment consultancy to tell me that this company were particularly interested, and after a couple of emails and a letter, they'd confirmed that the job was mine....

Taking the Kids Camping...

What the government, with such little imagination, refer to as 'Early May Bank Holiday' in England was a bit special back in 1995. It was special in general because it was the first and only time since this bank holiday was instigated that it didn't take place on the first Monday in May. This was due to the proclamation by the government, that they had decided we all should celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of V.E. day, but that to save them the trouble of giving the nation an extra bank holiday, they would be moving the existing holiday back a week to May 8th.

For me, it was special, because that was the weekend I decided to introduce my two eldest children to camping....

Mythology Closer to Home?

As I've mentioned in earlier posts, I've had an interest in mythology since I was very young. That's probably what first sparked my interest in fantasy as a literary genre. 

To begin with, I was fascinated by Greek and Roman mythology and to a lesser extent, that of the early Scandinavian races. This was probably due to the diet of Greek and Roman stories (more often than not, the boundaries were blurred) and also Norse tales, all served up to my generation mainly by Hollywood.

There are other mythologies that originate from throughout the world though: Arabic, Persian, Chinese, Indian, and I've briefly dallied with all of them with varying levels of interest....

A Prior Appointment

I walked out into the summer sunshine from the gloomy interior of the transport station.

It had been a few years since I'd last been here: that had been back in the days of 'trains' when the journey here had taken hours, rather than the quick ten minute hop I'd just made from the city....

It would have been a great party if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!

David Mitchell and Robert Webb are a TV comedy double act. Their shows consist of one-off sketches, recurring sketches with regular characters, and scenes where they play characters who are meant to be themselves.

One of their recurring sets of sketches is known as 'Friends of...' and always takes the form of two characters (played by Mitchell and Webb of course,) sitting in their apartment deciding on a guest list for a forthcoming party. Each sketch centres on discussion of a particular famous character or characters as they discuss the pros and cons of inviting them to the party....

Prankery On The High Seas

These days, there aren't many people left in Hull that work in the fishing industry, and most of those that do are involved more with the fish processing side than with the practice of bringing the fish home in the first place.

But I remember as a child, that the area I lived in was almost entirely populated by families that had people who worked either on the docks or on the fishing boats themselves....

Those Explosive Coffee Moments...

In the modern office environment, with drinks vending machines appearing in our workplaces more these days, many people will take refreshment at their desk as and when required: the tea/coffee break seems to have become a thing of the past.

There was a time though when the break was a time for fellow workers to interact on a more personal, social level, whether between everyone in the office or just amongst a few, it was the time when experiences were shared and plans for more organised socialising were made. Often, people would share things that had happened to them, with the rest of the people present; this would often trigger interest or even sympathy from fellow workers, or more often than not, shared amusement....

The Bonfire Wars

For the first 11 years, 2 months and 12 days of my life I lived in the same house: that's except for the three separate weeks I spent in caravans on seaside holidays, and for the extended hospital stay I had with meningitis when I was two.

It was more common in those days for mothers to give birth at home, so I was born in the front bedroom of the Victorian two-up, two-down that my parents had lived in since they'd married six years earlier. Eventually in June 1969 the entire area was demolished as part of a slum clearance program and we moved to the semi where my mum still lives today, and where my father lived for the remainder of his life. The novelty of separate bedrooms for my sister and I, and of actually having a garden was nothing compared to the luxury of an inside toilet, and a bath that didn't hang inside the back yard wall until we dragged it inside to fill it, once or twice per week....

My Favourite Poem And How I Found It

"Oh, these are the voices of the past, links of a broken chain, wings that can bear me back to times which cannot come again, yet God forbid that I should lose the echoes that remain."

Back at the end of October and the beginning of November, 1975, as part of my A level biology course, I spent a week at Flatford Mill Field Studies Centre near East Bergholt in Suffolk.

Flatford Mill was once the family home of the British painter John Constable, and the surrounding area provided subjects for many of his landscape paintings.

While there, I slept in Willie Lott's Cottage, which features prominently in what is probably Constable's most famous painting: 'The Haywain' (It's on the left of the picture there, look.)....

An Apologue For Today

While you sleep, Today appears quietly at the window of your room.

He creeps toward your bed, a little tentatively at first. His presence disturbs the birds outside, causing them to stir you with their clamorous song. Then with an uncalled for urgency and an unearned familiarity, as if he presumes to already know you , he shakes you awake by shining light across your face....

Something for the Weekend

Don't worry, I'm not offering you anything strange or embarrassing. I just thought if lazing around in the sun/sheltering from the rain (delete where not applicable) this weekend gets a little boring, or if you're in danger of entering a vegetative state from watching too much boring tennis, that you might like something to exercise the grey matter a little. So I thought I'd let you all try out a little logic puzzle. Here goes....

Patience of Poppies

When the world was young, plants covered the Earth and grew wherever they would; The land was green; trees had mastery then and forests covered much of the earth. In these forests and in the fields and plains between them, other plants prospered too.

With each year that passed, the plants would prepare to bring forth their young; they'd stand tall and proud displaying their glory in the masses of flowers that burst forth when the season was right, and later they would spill their seeds upon the land all around them so that their offspring could thrive and grow....

A Radio Comedy Classic

Much of the best radio comedy from the fifties and sixties is now lost, since nobody had the foresight to keep permanent recordings of many of the original broadcasts.

There are some exceptions to this: some of the original 'Goon Show' broadcasts still exist, though unfortunately many more of them are lost forever, except in the form of scripts; re-creations and 'cover' performances never seem to have the same appeal as the originals though...

Don Quixote's Quest

I'm really getting into these wordle generated word clouds. (Go to www.wordle.net to generate your own from blog posts or from sampled text.)

Today, June 6th is the anniversary of the death in 2001 of the musical theatre lyricist, Joe Darion. His most famous achievement was that he penned the lyrics for 'Man of La Mancha,' the musical that told the twin tales of Don Quixote and of his creator Miguel de Cervantes....

Thoughts...

(acknowledgement to www.wordle.net)

Mary's Boys

 (Introduction and notes are at the end of this piece. Please read the story first to avoid prejudging it.)

Jude sat by the small fire at the edge of the encampment, laughing with his companions. The three of them, Jude, his cousin Simeon and his friend John often spent time together, probably because they were the three youngest in the movement.

He listened with interest and amusement as John told yet another of his tales. John had a way with words; he had a particular knack for telling stories. Jude noticed the way that Simeon regarded John; it seemed to Jude that it was almost like hero worship, but he understood that. It was all part of John's talent: like most people Simeon would likely take every word John spoke as being the truth....

ON THIS DAY - June 2nd

A date in the calendar and the significant things that happened on that day.

Go to June 1st

Birthdays: Thomas Hardy, writer (1840); Edward Elgar, composer (1857); Johnny Weissmuller, swimmer and actor (1904); Johnny Speight, TV writer (1920); Milo O'Shea, actor (1926); Charlie Watts, musician (1941); Marvin Hamlisch, composer and musician (1944);  Keith Allen, actor (1953)....

Only a year ago, on June 2nd 2010, Derrick Bird, a 52 year old, self-employed taxi driver, shot his twin brother David dead in Lamplugh, Cumbria in the UK. He then travelled to Frizington, where he shot and killed Kevin Commons, 60, his family's solicitor.

ON THIS DAY - June 1st

A series of posts, looking at specific days and the significant and meaningful events that happened on that date.

Go to May 31st

Go to June 2nd

Birthdays: John Masefield, novelist and poet (1878); Frank Whittle, engineer and inventor (1907); Marilyn Monroe, actress (1926); Bob Monkhouse, comedian (1928); Morgan Freeman, actor (1937); Colleen McCullough, novelist (1937); Ronnie Wood, musician (1947); June Louise Laurenson, supernurse (1971); Heidi Klum, model (1973)....

In Bosnia, June 1st 1993 was the third day of Kurban Bajram (Festival of Sacrifice,) one of the most important muslim festivals of the year. Of course, 1993 happened to be during the war in Bosnia and Herzegovina, but the Sarajevo suburb of Dobrinja was supposed to be within a United Nations 'safe area' and though shelling was known to still occur there despite the UN 'protection' the local football pitch was surrounded by high-rise buildings and so was thought to be protected from artillery attacks. A youth football match was arranged there as part of the morning festivities with approximately 200 people attending as spectators.

ON THIS DAY - May 31st

In this series of posts, which will perhaps be regular, perhaps occasional, I'll look at a specific day as it occurs, and try to find a meaningful event, or something significant that happened on that day.

Go to June 1st

Birthdays: Walt Whitman, poet (1819); Heath Robinson, cartoonist (1872); Denholm Elliott, actor (1922); Clint Eastwood, actor, director, politician (1930); John Prescott, politician (1938); John Bonham, musician (1948); Lea Thompson, actress (1960); Brooke Shields, actress, model (1965); Colin Farrell, actor (1976)....

On 31st May 1957, playright Arthur Miller was found guilty of contempt of congress for refusing to declare the names of alleged communist writers who he'd attended meetings with in New York in 1947.

New Days

The sunset is not for my eyes now. The fond memories it held for me are fading. Once I shared the sunset with my love: a sight for us both to bring us closer together as we watched, times before we said goodbye each night, times that left us hoping for tomorrow. But now the sun has set forever on what we once had and our new day will never dawn again....

Thought Of You (The World Spins Madly On)

Here's a song and a video I'd like to share with you all. Both are beautiful, but together they form something that's really quite moving.

You may have heard the song before, but you might not have heard it with the film shown here, which in my opinion is the best way to experience both the song and the video.

The song is "The World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies. It's featured on the soundtrack of the 2007 film "Because I said So" (starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore) and can also be heard in at least two episodes of "One Tree Hill"....

"A Good Idea That Still Requires A Little Work"?

While chatting on Twitter the other night with @WendySparrow, the subject of the relative fears people have of subjugation by 'The Robot Overlords' and World destruction as a result of biological, bacterial methods arose.

We considered that there wasn't really a clearly defined boundary between the two possibilities these days, what with the proposed development of biologically based computers and the possible use of nano-circuits within the bloodstream of living creatures. So how would we know if we were to be ruled by machines, or by a new 'life-form'? how could we tell if the illnesses that might devastate mankind are of bacterial or viral origin, or if they might themselves be the result of our (tiny) robot masters staking their claim to the Earth?...

Can't Cook? - Won't Cook? - Then Cheat!

Many of you reading this will be able to cook, with varying levels of skill and expertise. Some of you probably can't cook at all, but most of us can handle the basics, can produce a passable meal; we can cope enough to get by, to keep ourselves content at least. We may even have one or two, or even a few dishes we particularly enjoy and that we're particularly proud of, but most of us don't have the skills we'd need to class ourselves as accomplished cooks, let alone chefs....

The Best ENGAGEMENT Video In The World... Ever!

Just under a year ago, I posted The Best Wedding Video In The World... Ever! so today, when I came across this video, I really had to post it too.

I don't know which of you are married or engaged, or if you've ever been involved in a marriage proposal, but you'd have to go a long way to find a marriage proposal as impressive as amazing or as romantic as this one.

Watch the potential bride's face as realisation dawns...

TOAST!

I knew they were still out to get me.

I'd been on the run for a while now and I hadn't slept for much more than an occasional snatched moment in days. Wherever I went to ground, I knew that sooner or later they'd find me. Then just this morning I'd found this temporary refuge: a quiet back street cafe; it was a long way from all of the places where I knew they'd be looking for me. It was somewhere I could sit and relax, for a little while at least, before I started running again....

There's Something About A Phone That Makes People Stupid...

What is it about telephones? 

There are people, when you hear them on the phone, who seem like really professional, mature people, but then when you meet them in real life you discover that they're actually bumbling, inarticulate, introvert misfits with no sign of any social skills whatsoever. OK. You're right - that's me, isn't it?

But then there are people we meet in person, who are clearly intelligent, but just can't handle communication by telephone. Of course there are some people who come across as pretty thick however they communicate, but I've found that the telephone seems to amplify their lack of intelligence more often than not.

Here are a few anecdotes of experiences I've had in the past where a telephone conversation is involved....

Like A Tourist In My Home Town

I live in Hull. Now I'm not claiming that Hull is somewhere I'd choose to live if I had the entire world, or even the entire country to choose from, but it's where I live now. In fact it's where I've lived all my life, and family connections more than anything else have kept me here, so I make the best of it.

To be honest, it isn't that bad, and I suppose it's pretty much the same as living in any town or city. OK, I'm sure there are more exciting places to live, but then who wants excitement where you live?....

What They Tell Us - What They Sell Us

It's not often I post twice to my blog in the same day. My previous post wasn't particularly cheerful, so with this one, I thought I'd try something a little more light-hearted.

I've been looking at advertising slogans, and found some interesting and amusing ones, as well as some that were surprising to the point of being unbelievable, though I assure you the ones mentioned here are all genuine....

Don't Give Up

Like a lot of people these days, my life isn't going quite as well as I'd like it to. Bloody hell, that is so much of an understatement: Things are so bad, for me as well as for others too I'm sure, and they don't look like getting much better, very soon. I expect many other people are in a similar position to me...

The Road Is NOT Your Car's Litter Bin!

Today, there have been reports of the intention to hold car owners responsible for all litter dropped from their vehicle, whether it be by themselves, other drivers, or their passengers.

Of course the person ultimately responsible for litter is the person who drops it, but as the amount of litter on the roads and in the gutters illustrates, there is a real problem of people dropping litter from cars, and this could be avoided if the owners of the vehicles didn't take a 'not in my car' attitude, and after all, let's face it: if a shop or a pub encouraged you to throw your litter out of the window, they'd be held responsible...

It's Referendum Time...

This Thursday, May 5th, we'll have the chance to vote in a referendum to change the voting system we use to elect our MPs. We can choose to either retain our present 'First past the post' system or to adopt the 'Alternative Vote' system.

It should be noted that the FPTP system is the one we've used throughout hundreds of years in the history of UK elections; It has cross party support. The AV system is a kind of 'halfway' house to a full proportional representation system, and also has cross party support, so your decision to vote either way in the referendum is not dependent on your party political views...

The Sleepwalker

Like most people I know, I’m not too keen on driving in the dark. I try not to whenever possible, though there are times when it’s just unavoidable.

Working away from home involves a lot of travelling. Commuting’s bad enough, but when my place of work was too far away to travel to and from home every day, I spent Sunday through Thursday night in a hotel or bed and breakfast, and then did my best to get home for the weekends....

One Road - 'One And A Half' Locations

Last Saturday morning, I had reason to go out early. I needed to go all the way to Anlaby, which takes over an hour to walk to, from where I live. I don't have any other form of transport to get me there, so walking was the only option. I was in a bit of a hurry to meet my appointment on the way there, but on the way back I could take my time and enjoy the lovely spring weather....

A 'stroll' in the country

The weather is getting better.

After the winter that seemed to arrive particularly early, last particularly long and be particularly harsh, it came as a pleasant surprise when spring finally arrived. The moment the vernal equinox was upon us, it was as though someone had just flicked a switch, causing the days of inclement weather to disappear, to be instantly replaced by lovely spring days with weather that at times, made it seem more like summer....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 30 - My Favourite Song At This Time Last Year

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This one is ridiculously difficult. For some people, their favourites never change, so this song would necessarily be the same as the one posted back on day 1 (unless they'd only elected that one as their favourite during the last 12 months of course,) but for other people, most people I think, the exalted position of 'favourite song' varies and changes all the time....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 29 - A Song From My Childhood

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This is the first song that I remember learning all the words to, a few months after its release in June 1966, when I was only eight years old.

For my sister's 13th birthday at the end of June that year, she'd received a record player as her birthday present from my parents. This was back in the days when most 'gramophones' were big cumbersome wooden boxes, usually covered in maroon coloured, leather effect vinyl, and though capable only of monophonic playback, they came with an autochanger, so huge piles of singles could be stacked on the spindle to play one after the other....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 28 - A Song That Makes Me Feel Guilty

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

At first I thought that there couldn't possibly be a song that could make me feel guilty; I don't have an awful lot to feel guilty about, and certainly nothing that a song could remind me of. It's not as if I've shot any sheriffs or anything.

Then I thought about it a little and realised that there's more than one way to feel guilty where songs are concerned....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 27 - A Song That I Wish I Could Play

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

In my teens and my twenties, like most people I went to a lot of parties; it seemed that at many parties, there'd be an electric guitar on a stand in the living room, or lying on a bed next to where we'd throw our coats. Those musically inept of us would wish we could pick it up and play it, whereas more adept friends, would always wish they could  play it better, at least enough to impress the rest of us....

A verse what I wrote...

I don't do poetry too well. I certainly don't do love poetry, but I decided to have a try anyway. Bear in mind that it's written by a miserable old git with hardly a shred of romance left in his soul, and then tell me what you think....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 26 - A Song That I Can Play On An Instrument

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Hold on a moment; just bear with me until I stop laughing at the concept of me playing anything on an instrument. I can't play any musical instruments; I never have been able to. One of the biggest regrets in my life is that I never got around to learning. At school I just wasn't interested, not until my later years there at least, when the only instrument I was interested in was a guitar, but by then I was at the age when any effort required to learn, just seemed like too much trouble and I couldn't be arsed....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 25 - A Song That Makes Me Laugh

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

In 2009, Angela Hunt and Jane't Sewell-Ulepic wrote a song expressing their feelings and experiences of their home town of New York. This song was recorded by fellow New Yorker Jay Z and released as Empire State of Mind. The recording featured additional vocals and a piano loop performed by Alicia Keys. I'm sure you're wondering, what's so funny about that?...

30 Day Song Challenge Day 24 - A Song That I Want To Play At My Funeral

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Well I'm hoping that the song I'll really have played at my funeral hasn't been written yet, and hopefully won't be for at least the next thirty or forty years.

Of course, it may be my funeral, but it doesn't really make a difference what I want. I'll be the only person involved who won't really be affected by whatever happens there, apart from the obvious of course....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 23 - A Song That I Want To Play At My Wedding

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

It's a little bit late for that. I was married over 31 years ago. We had a very small, very private registry office ceremony, with only two friends as witnesses and no family or other guests present. We didn't have a reception, so the question of what songs to play never arose....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 22 - A Song That I Listen To When I'm Sad

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Like all people, I have problems, more than most it seems sometimes; but if I think about it practically I realise there are a lot who suffer a lot more than I do. I've always followed the philosophy of 'Constructive Pessimism' in that I'm not going to pretend that everything is hunky dory, but I comfort myself by believing that however bad things are, they'll get better.

I can deal with most things that get me down, either by putting them in perspective and realising that they're not really as bad as they first seem, or by putting my mind to solving my problems and doing my best to put things right....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 21 - A Song That I Listen To When I'm Happy

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This one is a real oldie. It's one of those songs that just cheers me up whatever mood I'm in, but also makes me feel especially good on the occasions when I'm already feeling happy. It's a song that doesn't have to be, and indeed shouldn't be taken too seriously....

Just Call Me "Abi Tofagit"

My eldest daughter is at an age when she likes to party. Most of the parties she arranges or attends need to have a theme for some reason, and a theme requires fancy dress. Often even quiet nights in with friends are themed as are the occasional nights out around the town, and most of these require some kind of fancy dress. 

My daughter enthusiastically creates her own costume for each of these occasions and keeps them afterwards. She probably has enough now to open her own fancy dress costumier, providing all her customers are the same size as her, of course....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 20 - A Song That I Listen To When I'm Angry

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

I've found this to be the hardest category to choose a song for so far. You see, I don't get angry too often, but when I do, the last thing I want to do is listen to music.

What is the music meant to achieve exactly? Is it supposed to calm me down and soothe my temper? It wouldn't. Believe me, when I am angry it takes more than a song to make a difference. In fact, I'm not even sure that I'd want it to make me less angry; I suppose it depends on why I'm angry in the first place....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 19 - A Song From My Favourite Album

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

There are loads of albums that I like a lot, many of which I've thought of as my 'favourite album' at different times of my life; but for this selection, I wanted to choose something more contemporary than  many of the records I bought in the '70s and '80s.

When an album is critically acclaimed, it's usually as a result of the overall impression of the entire album, and rarely down to the merits of individual tracks. It's very rare that you'll come across an album that works as a whole, where each individual track is also memorable in it's own right. Often, listening to some of the 'best albums' as defined by 'the experts' will find you skipping past songs that just don't appeal....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 18 - A Song That I Wish I Heard On The Radio

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

As I mentioned yesterday, I haven't regularly listened to broadcast radio for a while now. If I did, I may have discovered The Baseballs a little earlier than I did, though I'm almost certain that I'd have had to tune into some European radio station or other, since I'm certain that they're hardly ever played on British radio....

Dorian Gray Had A Portrait. Billy Joe Armstrong Has A Bassist...

In The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, the eponymous hero sells his soul to the devil, in order to keep his youth and beauty. From that point onward, a portrait of him shows all the signs of age instead of him, whilst he remains young forever.

I'm beginning to think that something similar has happened in Green Day....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 17 - A Song That I Often Heard On The Radio

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

You may notice that I've changed the title of this post to read 'I often heard' rather than 'I often hear'.  In these days of internet radio, Youtube and sites like Blip.fm, we pretty much choose what we want to hear on the radio, so much so that I rarely listen to broadcast radio at all these days, not enough to know which songs are getting excessive airplay anyway....

Could YOU Be A Destroyer Of Worlds?

Let me present to you a scenario born purely of imagination.

Even though this situation could only ever be possible within the realms of science fiction, I'd like you to imagine yourself as being a part of it, and then determine your response to the moral dilemma presented and the reasons for your response....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 16 - A Song I Used To Love But Now Hate

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

I did indeed used to love this song, and to be honest, I don't really hate it now. It's just that my attitude to it and to the person who performs it has changed somewhat.

Back when I bought the album that featured this song I was only 15. At that age, music that's designed to shock was fine; the fact that it shocked was even an attribute in my eyes back in those days, but like I said: I was only 15. My parents didn't like the music and that was fine by me; the media was full of reports about how inappropriate many of the songs on the album were, and that just made me, as a teenager, more determined to listen to it....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 15 - A Song That Describes Me

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This is such a stupid category. How can there possibly be a song that describes me? Most people won't know of a song that describes them, though they may latch onto a song that says something that relates to certain episodes in their life, or perhaps to one aspect of their character....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 14 - A Song That No-one Would Expect Me To Love

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

It depends on how well you know me I suppose, but I'm not really into stage musicals, so this is a song that most people wouldn't expect me to be too fond of, but I find this song so moving and so inspirational that I love it.

The message of the song, which is the true message of the story it comes from is that rather than 'the end justifying the means.' the end isn't so relevent providing the means is right, that success or failure isn't a mark of how well you've lived your life, but the methods you use to reach that eventual success or failure is more important, and that what you achieve is of secondary importance when compared to the way you go about achieving it....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 13 - A Song That Is A Guilty Pleasure

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This song is so wrong for me; it's nothing like the kind of stuff I usually like (though I like to think my tastes are varied.) It's the kind of trashy pop that my daughters used to listen to, that made me look on them with misgivings when they got to a certain age and still hadn't outgrown it. (I always looked on it as a stop-gap for them between worshiping boy bands and getting into 'proper' music!).....

Just "Hello" Would Probably Work Better Lionel

Cool or Creepy? You Decide

Lionel Richie may be a successful recording artist, both as the front man of The Commodores and as a solo artist in his own right. He might also be an accomplished song writer too. He's had a long and impressive career in the music industry and has probably made himself quite an enviable fortune in the process.

But I have this nagging feeling that he's not particularly good when it comes to picking up girls.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 12 - A Song From A Band I Hate

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

How can I possibly post a song I like from a band I hate? If I could do that, then I wouldn't really hate them would I? But then again, how do I choose a song from the repertoire of a band who only produce songs that I detest?.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 11 - A Song From My Favourite Band

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Let me be perfectly honest to begin with: I don't have a favourite band. I don't think most people do, not perennially anyway, because our tastes change as our lives change, and so do those things we look upon as 'favourites.'.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 10 - A Song That Makes Me Fall Asleep

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

I like to enjoy music by giving it my fullest attention, so I don't really have any songs I'd listen to deliberately to nod off. Any song that makes me fall asleep does so as a result of absolutely boring me until I can hold out no longer and just can't resist dropping off.....

Sitting On The Fence...

Despite the recession, there seems to be a little bit of urban regeneration going on in Hull, and to the passer by, it probably looks attractive; but then the passer by only sees what the council wants them to see, and it isn't the passer by that's condemned to live in squalor because of the money saving policies of the current local and national governments.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 9 - A Song That I Can Dance To

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

First things first: I can't dance.

I'm awful at parties, preferring to concentrate on conversation instead of dancing. As I've got older that's become less of a problem (perhaps confirming that I've always been just a bit too old for my age,) but during my youth, dancing, though not compulsory was the thing to do, and the only real way to be sure of interacting with the opposite sex (in public at least.).....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 8 - A Song That I Know All The Words To

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

There are lots of songs I think I know all the words too; there are lots of songs that I'm sure I knew all the words to.

But we often mis-hear the odd lyric and carry on for years oblivious of the fact that we've got the odd word or phrase wrong somewhere. There were songs in the past that I was certain I knew all the words to, but as memory fades, I've discovered whilst singing along, that some of those words have slipped my mind over the years.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 7 - A Song That Reminds Me Of A Certain Event

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

"Hull Fair" October 1972

Hull Fair occurs every year, for a week in early October. Most people in Hull have memories of their childhood experience at the fair, and for teenagers, it still forms part of their passage into adulthood.

Music plays a big part in the festival that is Hull Fair. Most of the rides play music, and your ears are met with a cacophony of sound as you arrive; if you stay in one place long enough, you'll be subjected to a medley of the songs that are in the singles chart at the time.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 6 - A Song That Reminds Me Of Somewhere

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Two places really: The lounge bar of 'The Silver Cod' public house, Corner of Springfield Road/Anlaby Road, Hull, April/May 1976, (also known back then, as Riley High School sixth form's reserve common room.) and Flatford Mill Field Studies Centre, East Bergholt, Suffolk, Oct/Nov 1975.

The October previously, about 6 or 7 of us had spent a week on a biology field course at Flatford Mill, Suffolk, and while there we'd become friends with the only other large group on the biology course: A group of girls from 'The Royal Masonic School For Girls' in Rickmansworth, Hertfordshire if I remember correctly.....

Please Help Us Keep The 'Royal Wee'

The letter that forms the content of this post was born of concern and desperation, but the style and the idea for it in the first place was inspired by the work of Sheena Ignatia, (her incredible comedy talent is showcased *here*)

Though I know I can't possibly come close to meeting Sheena's comedic level and I admit that I'd never have the nerve to send the letter in 'real life' (which I'm sure Sheena often does,) I thought the main idea contained in it is a reasonable one and worth expressing. Who knows, perhaps the intended recipient will come across it while 'blog surfing'.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 5 - A Song That Reminds Me Of Someone

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This song doesn't particularly remind me of my dad, but it reminds me of the time when he died and I lost him. I first heard this song about that time, and shared Mike Skinner's grief at the loss of his own father; now every time I hear it, I miss him so much (My dad, not Mike Skinner, obviously,) and it never fails to bring me to tears.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 4 - A Song That Makes Me Sad

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

This song is exceptionally sad, though at first it's not entirely clear why.

Is the singer struggling to deal with someone she has lost physically, and still feels the pain of her memories? Is she trying to cope with losing someone emotionally who's still physically present, there to remind her every day that any emotion he once felt has faded away?....

Clarity Begins At Home....

Apologies for the awful pun in the title, but to be honest, you wouldn't think that was the case when it comes to communication in my house. So many disagreements are caused in my family either because of avoidable misunderstandings, or because of one of us not listening to what the other is saying or trying to say....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 3 - A Song That Makes Me Happy

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Well it makes me smile anyway: A LOT.

I love the way Syd Barrett wrote this song from a child's point of view, the way that the lyrics are expressed as though to give a special infantile importance to things that would normally appear so trivial.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 2 - My Least Favourite Song

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

There are a lot of songs I dislike to varying degrees. Some songs bore me, some annoy me, but I tend to hate and detest whole genres of music (modern jazz, opera and country & western,) rather than individual songs.....

30 Day Song Challenge Day 1 - My Favourite Song

Go HERE for more details of The 30 Day Song Challenge.

Throughout my life, my musical taste has varied. I've gone through phases when my taste has gone through massive changes, and some music I was once devoted to is now, at best music I look back on with nostalgia.....

30 Day Song Challenge

A lot of people are taking part in this meme, on Facebook and on their own blogs, to share with the world 30 songs that mean something personal to them. (Details of the Facebook meme are *HERE*)

I decided to give it a try here on my blog, partly because it gives me a chance to think about what songs affect me and also because it gives me an excuse to post to my blog every day for nearly a month without requiring much of the time and effort that posting usually requires.....

All Greek To Me - Part 2 - Learning To Tell Your Arsis From Your Anceps

[See also 'All Greek To Me - Part 1 - Homer Is Where The Heart Is']

Ok, let's get straight to the point!

Understanding even the basics of classic greek dactylic hexameter (or 'heroic' hexameter) isn't easy, well not for me anyway: It doesn't help that I can't read ancient Greek (or modern Greek, for that matter;) it doesn't simplify things to discover that ancient Greek poetry was based on syllable weight, whereas most modern languages, including English use a syllabic system of accentual stress, and it only confuses matters to learn that the Romans came along and actually reversed the meanings of some of the terms.

OK, well if that's not enough to put you off, read on and I'll try to share at least part of what I've learned That'll be the part that I think I understand, then!.....

Country Diary II (getting to be like a 'real' diary this)

[See 'Country Diary (or as near as you'll get from a townie)' first]

On Friday, two days after my encounter with the handbrake horse, I went walking up toward Cottingham again, mainly to see if I could get photographic evidence of those roe deer I told you all about, (I really wanted to prove that not all the wild life around Hull is the kind with ASBOs...)

Country Diary (or the nearest you'll get from a townie)

Nobody would ever claim that where I live is suburban; nevertheless only fifteen to twenty minutes walk to the north leads me to open fields. It's the road to the nearest village to me, Cottingham, and that's where my walks often lead to for various reasons...

There are all kinds of cages...

For the past couple of years, while I've been unemployed, I've had my own personal reasons to go out walking quite a lot. Often, especially during the spring and summer months, my walks would take me to a local park, where there's a small aviary and an even smaller menagerie....

All Greek To Me - Part 1 - Homer Is Where The Heart Is.

Surely this isn't Homer?!?  D'oh!

I've always had a fascination with Greek mythology. I’ll admit that it probably started when, as a child I watched all those movies that Ray Harryhausen did the visual effects for, where characters and monsters from various mythologies (including Greek) would hold my attention and captivate my imagination. As I grew older I read what I could of Greek mythology wherever I could find it, and I discovered that there was so much contradiction between different versions of the stories, but that was ok, because it meant that I could take the parts of the story that appealed to me in each version, and put them together to form a version of the story that made more sense to me personally. Perhaps that’s what gave me a taste for creating fantasy tales of my own.....

Ten Trivia Teasers

Here are ten questions to test yourselves with. (no prizes, it's just for fun.)

There's nothing here that should prove testing, since most of these are concerned with pointless trivia anyway and there's even a multiple choice one, and two true/false questions, so everyone has a chance of getting at least three correct.

When you've come up with the answers, or when you've given up, you can check how well you've done by scrolling down to see the questions repeated, with the answers.

1. When blue smarties were first introduced in 1989, which colour did they replace?

2. What was the name of the aeroplane involved in the crash that caused Buddy Holly's death? (You know this; you may not think you do, but you do!)

3. True or False: Actor Leonard Rossiter once took his milkman on holiday with him to make sure he'd have someone to play squash with?

4. Who were the first married couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television?

5. For just under a year in the 13th century, half of England was ruled by which of these:

 a) A military dictatorship

 b) A committee of women

 c) The King of France

6. On July 4th 1776, how many people signed the American Declaration of Independence?

7. 'Cricket', 'Dragonfly', 'Firecracker', 'Confetti', 'Leopard', 'Spaghetti', 'Tidal Wave', 'Frosted' & 'Cats Eye' are all traditional varieties of what?

8. True or False: Men had wristwatches for 36 years before they became available for women?

9. Which sequence of four letters, has eight possible variations of pronunciation in the English language?

10. "Peace and hope for all mankind" were the last six words spoken from where, on December 11th 1972?

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scroll down for a repeat of the questions, with answers.....

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1. When blue smarties were first introduced in 1989, which colour did they replace?

  Specifically, LIGHT Brown (Dark Brown are still around)

2. What was the name of the aeroplane involved in the crash that caused Buddy Holly's death? (You know this; you may not think you do, but you do!)

  American Pie

3. True or False: The late Leonard Rossiter once took his milkman on holiday with him to make sure he'd have someone to play squash with?

  True

4. Who were the first married couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television?

  Fred and Wilma Flintstone

5. For just under a year in the 13th century, half of England was ruled by which of these:

    

  c) King Louis VIII (from 1216 until the Treaty of Lambeth in 1217)

6. On July 4th 1776, how many people signed the American Declaration of Independence?

  Only Two - the rest of the signatures were added from August 2nd onwards.

7. 'Cricket', 'Dragonfly', 'Firecracker', 'Confetti', 'Leopard', 'Spaghetti', 'Tidal Wave', 'Frosted' & 'Cats Eye' are all traditional varieties of what?

  Marbles

8. True or False: Men had wristwatches for 36 years before they became available for women?

  False - Patek Phillipe produced the first woman's wristwatch in 1868, but it was 1904 before Louis Cartier made one for men.

9. Which sequence of four letters, has eight possible variations of pronunciation in the English language?

  'ough' - As in "A rough-coated, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully." (for non-English speakers these are pronounced uff, oh, ow, ooh, uh, off, up, and awe, respectively.)

10. "Peace and hope for all mankind" were the last six words spoken where, on December 11th 1972?

  From the moon, by Eugene Cernan, commander of the Apollo 17 mission.

Ten Songs That Inspire...

TOP TEN COUNTDOWN - MUSIC BLOGFEST (another idea from Alex J Cavanaugh)

Alex's latest blogfest begins with the introduction: "Counting down our top tunes of all time! Music moves us. It inspires us! Now, tell the world YOUR ten favorite songs of all time."

Well I'd find it a little diffiicult to choose my ten favourite songs of all time: not only does that depend on the mood I'm in, but the list changes on a regular basis, and I'm pretty sure that any list I produced now, would require updating within a fortnight or so.

As for songs that move me and inspire me, I can do that. Admittedly I'll have to keep an eye (or an ear) on the songs I choose, because songs that move a person, often inspire personal emotions, and being an absolute miserable bugger at the best of times, I don't want to bring you all down....

Winter - Hades is to blame

I've always had an interest in Greek mythology. Almost everyone is familiar with the main tales, thanks to Hollywood and Disney, and though most of that is inaccurate, being based on a hybrid of the Greek and Roman versions of the myths, it serves as an introduction to what is by far the most complex and contrived example of folklore.

The weather in the UK at the moment is terrible; It's the middle of winter, and all of nature seems to have ground to a halt and died, though it's more a case of nature sleeping, since we know everything will  re-emerge in the spring time.

There's a Greek legend that explains why this happens every year, and I'm not sure if many of you will know the story of Demeter, Persephone and Hades....